Yesterday I had a photo shoot at 5:30, so I was hauling it after work to grab my camera and props and get there on time.
I keep all my business-y stuff at Jeff’s because it’s super close to work, so it’s a lot easier to grab when I’m in a hurry (in theory; I’m still notoriously late). Now, Rue hangs out in the backyard during the day like a good girl, and when people come over and she isn’t passed out under the trampoline she gets all excited and gets as close as she can to the door to greet you. Yesterday was no different, except when I came outside she wasn’t there anymore.

It’s no secret that this dog has ADD and a rustling leaf could distract her, but usually people take first priority so I thought it was weird that she had left her perch. I went around the corner to see where she went and TO MY HORROR there was a small, probably 4-year-old human in the yard (already weird, as we don’t own any 4-year-old humans) and he was

THROWING ROCKS AT MY DOG.

AT MY DOG, YOU GUYS.

My PUPPY to be exact. WHO DOES THAT!?

Obviously I handled the situation with poise and grace:

“NONONONONONO NO! NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? NO! YOU DO NOT DO THAT! STOP! YOU DO NOT THROW ROCKS AT HER!“

(I could have been mistaken for a Miss America contestant, obviously.)

You know what he did when I suggested screamed he knock it off?

He waved.

He said, Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

He just stood there with no understanding of the fact that he had done anything wrong.

WHAT.

This was not the first time said small human has been in a yard that is not his playing with a puppy that is not his. We talked to a few neighbors last night who have told them to stop playing in their yard, as well. And one time I walked in on him balling his bratty little eyes out because my dog had jumped on him and probably scared the crap out of him.

I have no sympathy for you, small human, because THIS IS NOT YOUR YARD OR YOUR DOG!

So yeah, I’m a little angry about the whole situation and this kid is not exactly my new BFF or anything, but I’m a rational enough person to know that it’s not his fault. Let it be known that after all my screaming there was not a parent to be found. Nobody. Not a soul.

OK that’s a lie, there were a few other orphan children in the neighbor’s yard (not their yard, by the way; the neighbor’s yard).

I’m all for instilling independence in your children, but letting them run around the entire neighborhood by themselves? What if Rue had been a vicious, blood thirsty, 4-year-old-human-eating dog? What if she had seriously injured that kid? Obviously we would have felt awful because she is OUR dog, but that would have ruined those parents’ lives. (And we would probably be sued, as screwed up as that is because it’s not like we invited the kid into the yard to play with our fur child.)

I don’t have any children, but I think it’s safe to say 4 is not old enough to be galavanting around a neighborhood on your own. OR if your child happens to be awesome and crazy independent, how about we teach them to not throw rocks at puppies, MMMKKKK? I get that kids will be kids and rocks will be thrown, but if I were to catch any of the kids I know throwing rocks at a dog and react the way I did, they would be in tears. To stand there and look up at me like, Um what I’m just throwing rocks at your furbaby, NBD, shows that somebody failed in the parenting department.

I’m not even sorry that that’s harsh.

Don’t throw rocks at my dog.

Parent your children.

Now go read this to restore your faith in humanity because it obviously just took a serious beating, what with all the rock throwers in the world.